Let’s discuss some things. I’ve been going back in forth in my mind over the last two months over things I may very well encounter for the rest of my life. For example, HONESTY.. Loyalty.. Trusting your Instincts.. and believing in a power greater than yourself (Faith).
Is it fair that certain people in life have issues with honesty? Is it my responsibility to know the difference between these people and the opposite?
Im tired of feeling like I’m the only one who keeps it real. Im currently in a situation where my best friend is telling me one thing, and her actions are showing another. My mother says to trust your instincts. Trust in the Lord.. but dont trust in your friend? It is indeed a difficult situation because being in the position to call someone a liar is a serious thing. Its a serious accusation. So, how do you know? The thing is.. I trust this girl with my life. However, I’ve been feeling more distant within our friendship than I ever have before. I’ve learned she’s kept things from me that she shouldn’t have (on more than one occasion), my closest friends have warned me to watch out for “sneaky behavior” and because of this im guarded. I bet you’ll suggest just letting my friend know how i feel. Well, i have. And although we’ve talked about things.. I still dont feel any comfort within. I dont expect much from her. I dont expect much from any of my friends other than the basics. It seems that you cant always expect a person to do or say certain things that you would. Everyone is different. And maybe, everyone isnt meant to be kept. Its hard letting go of people you love. Especially during times unfound. Times where you may very well feel lost.. and or, that you “need” this person.
Truth is, the only thing you need.. is you. You have to be whole. You have to be complete. You have to be worth more than anyone else to yourself. It is only then, that you can make selfish decisions for yourself without harming others. There are two types of selfish. There’s the selfish that considers no one. That person is all about self. And if it means that the closest ones to them may suffer, then so be it. Call it casualties of war, because this selfish person is at war with everyone. This person is thee very bane of negative energy. They will smile in your face and figure out how to suck you dry before you even notice their fangs. Then there’s the selfish person whom is all about betterment. This is the person who puts themselves first because its what he/she has to do. And in this they mean no harm, but they have a goal and its a positive one. One that wont bring others down in its rise. This person makes educated decisions so that his/her loved ones are in the end proud. Decisions like moving far away for financial gain, passing up a job for personal reasons… things like that. Situations where others are affected but still understand. Because that type of selfish person, had to do what he/she had to do and all is understood. The wrong type of selfish person will leave you feeling like “WTF?!”. Have you asking, “How did this happen” or “Whats going on?”, simply put. Its a heavy wish to wish you never get close to the wrong type of person. However, in life… at times you do. And you will 3,4,5,6, 19 times in life perhaps. Its just the cards that we are dealt… which leads me to faith…
I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and in part many things happen because you let them. I have always been a person big on energy and vibes and things all in-tune with our spirits. I trust in the Lord. I do. I am a living testament that with Him, through Him all things are possible. My God has brought me a long way. I wasnt always the best person in life but I have changed for the greater good of my entire existence. There are times tho, when im not sure if i should be moving a chess piece or not. Its like my life is a big game of chess and the board is every possibility i can imagine and then-some. The goal in life is to eventually get to the King (in my eyes, Kingdom). Im so in tune that when I find myself in situations uncomfortable, life unfolds no other option but to make a move. Find your own spot in this world or knock someone down and theirs. However, if you stay there.. its possible you will get eaten alive… or left alone. But most likely, knocked down and eaten alive. I believe our instincts tell us a truth that no man can fathom. And so shall it be…
I’ve decided to be selfish for the first time.. for me. I will always trust my instincts and my women’s intuition. I cant put someone else’s word before that voice inside my head. And as long as I remain kind, loving, and hard-working; I will be abundantly blessed with honest friends, loyal friends and family… my faith will grow stronger and take me further. All i have to do, is not be afraid.
There you have it. Did i counsel my own self or nah? lol.
Thanks for listening…
Lost in Translation